Love
by nefertiri-oconnell
Summary: Katihryn recieves a letter of questionable origin


"I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you."  
  
Kathryn Janeway looked at the PADD in her hand. It had appeared at her desk this morning, so thinking it was another status report about the nebula they were surveying she read it. It certainly wasn't a status report. It was unsigned and the computer told her that no one had entered her ready room since she left the previous night.  
  
"Janeway to Chakotay."  
  
"Chakotay here Captain."  
  
"Can you come to my ready room commander, as soon as you are available?"  
  
"I'll be right there Captain. Chakotay out."  
  
Kathryn stood up from her desk and walked to the replicator.  
  
"Coffee, black."  
  
"There are insufficient rations for this request."  
  
"Oh, you have to be joking."  
  
"Something I said?" Kathryn whirled around to see Chakotay standing at her door.  
  
"Oh Chakotay, you scared me. No not you, the computer just told me I was out of rations. I need coffee. And before you say it Neelix's substitute is not an option!" Chakotay chuckled and walked toward the replicator.  
  
"Let me, it's only two days till next month you can pay me back then." Kathryn sighed a smile and walked to the couch of the higher level of her ready room.  
  
"Thanx Chakotay."  
  
"My pleasure, one coffee back and one tea blend Chakotay 5." The drinks appeared and he walked over to Kathryn. He watched as she took a long sniff before talking a rather large gulp. "Good?"  
  
"Oh yes."  
  
"Now, what was it that you wanted?" He watched as Kathryn's face turned from pleasure to pain.  
  
"Right, okay. This morning I received a PADD on my desk in here. I thought that it was a status report from the nebula we're investigating." She paused as if trying to find the words.  
  
"Go, on."  
  
"Okay I'll show you." She walked over to her desk and picked up the PADD. "Here, read it." Chakotay got up and walked to the desk. The way Kathryn was staring at the PADD, it obviously wasn't good. As soon as he read what was written he could understand why.  
  
"Who sent this?" Kathryn was taken back by the fury in his voice. She took an involuntary step back.  
  
"I don't know but..." Chakotay leaned closer.  
  
"But what?" It was obvious that she was holding something back, just by the look in her eyes. "Kathryn?"  
  
"But this isn't the first." Kathryn looked down at the floor. She couldn't look at Chakotay; she didn't want to see what was in his eyes. "For the past month I have received a series of PADDs. All with similar content." Chakotays eyes flashed anger.  
  
"And you tell me now! Dammit Kathryn I thought I told you that from now on you told me everything." Kathryn looked up then back down.  
  
"No that's what you decided." Chakotay grabbed her chin and lifted it her head up so that their eyes met.  
  
"And you agreed. I hope you're not thinking about changing the status of our agreement Captain?" Kathryn hesitated for a minute and then shook her head.  
  
"No." Chakotay released her chin.  
  
"Good, I would hate to think what would have happened otherwise. Now where are the others? We'll get to the bottom of this problem together."  
  
"They're in my quarters. I'll go get them." Kathryn moved to go to the door but was stopped by a hand on her arm.  
  
"It'll be okay Kathryn." She looked at his face. Gone was the angry expression, instead was one of compassion and sympathy. She smiled back and carried on walking out of the room. She crossed the bridge, nodding at crewmembers as she did. The turbolift open as soon as she got there.  
  
"Deck 3." The door closed and she let out a sigh. She couldn't understand Chakotay, one minute he was so hostile and the next he was full of love. She had regretted her decision to agree to his terms when he came aboard the ship but there wasn't much she could do about it now. The turbolift stopped at deck 3 and she exited. She walked the short distance to her quarters and entered. Leaning against the cool metal wall of the door she let out a breath. At first his offer had been reasonable. In exchange for the merging of the two crews he would become her first officer and others of his crew would be given a few prominent position. Seeing them work as a crew she agreed. They were capable and probably more experienced then her younger crew.  
  
Everything had been going fine until Seska had come back onto the scene. She had given Chakotay ideas. He had started placing demands on her knowing there was not much she could do. The majority of the crew was now Maquis. Hers had been killed in the initial journey to the delta quadrant.  
  
He had managed to manoeuvre her into agreeing to be a figurehead. If she didn't do as he said then he and the Maquis would mutiny and kill all the Starfleet crew. She knew he could do it, and that he would. In the past few weeks a more ruthless side had shown. He wanted to know her whereabouts at all times. She knew that he regularly checked the computer to make sure that she wasn't lying. In public they acted like she was the captain and he was the first officer but behind closed doors he controlled her every move.  
  
Kathryn Janeway was never one to scare easy but now she was terrified. It wasn't for her life but those under her. For all they knew she was the captain and they were safe. Chakotay was right she wouldn't disobey him. It had been three months since they first got stranded in the delta quadrant and every day was hell.  
  
Glancing at the chrono she realised that she had better get back. She really didn't want him coming after her. The last time she had kept him waiting had resulted in two broken ribs, they were still a bit sore but going t the doctor was not an option. Walking into her bedroom she grabbed the PADDs. Just then she heard the familiar whine of the transported. Her first thought was that it was Chakotay but logic took over when she realised that that would be too obvious.  
  
Kathryn walked into the lounge where she spied a PADD materialising on her desk. Picking it up she read what it said.  
  
"No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry."  
  
Tears pricked Kathryn's eyes. She knew that she should be weary but the words written were so beautiful they touched her heart. Whoever it was really knew what to say. Sighing she pulled herself together and headed back to the bridge.  
  
Chakotay had started pacing Kathryn's ready room. He was getting impatient. It irked him every time she left his presence. He hated not knowing where she was or what she doing, or who she was doing it with. The first minute he had laid his eyes on her he knew it was love. Every fibre in his being told him. He needed to be with her, possess her. She was so dominant, headstrong and a challenge that he couldn't wait to overcome. The perfect opportunity came when he sacrificed his ship and then everything else fell into place. The more time he spent with her the more he felt he needed to make her his. He knew that one day she would love him back and then there would be no need for threats and violence, but until then he would have to keep it up. She could be so defiant and he knew that she valued her pride. Which is why he let her keep up the pretence of command to the crew, his and hers.  
  
But those letters. A jealous rage had filled him as he read the words. For a month she had kept those from him, well at least she had eventually told him. Of course her little act of defiance was going to cost her but he'd deal with that later.  
  
The sound of the ready room door opening turned his attention back to the present. It was Kathryn and she was holding a stack of PADDs, there must have been at least ten.  
  
Kathryn stood in the doorway.  
  
"I just got another. It was transported to my quarters." Chakotay felt the rage again but pushed it aside.  
  
"I'm going to read these, why don't you go and sit down on the coach, put your feet up. You've had a long few days. Read some of those reports your so fond of." Kathryn stared for a minute before she placed the PADDs in his hands and picked up the ones from her desk. Her coffee was cold now but she didn't want to provoke him so she sipped it as she settled down to read her reports.  
  
Soon she was engrossed in them that she didn't realise that Chakotay was watching her intently. He had finished reading the letters. He wanted to find out who had been sending them. They were filled with such luvvy duvvy crap it sickened him. But what made it worse was the fact that he could tell that they effected Kathryn. She probably thought the words were beautiful, they would seem so to her soul. She had such a pure soul that it was a shame that he was going to have to corrupt her, if that was possible, but he couldn't have this person taking his Kathryn from him.  
  
He walked over to the couch and put his arm around her. She stiffened in his embrace. She was still resisting him, good.  
  
"You mustn't worry about them Kathryn. We'll find out who they were from and exact the correct punishment. What do you think, formal reprimand, sentence to the brig or public execution." Kathryn whirled her face to his. Public execution, he wouldn't. Chakotay chuckled as he looked into her face. That got her going.  
  
"We'll discuss it later. 19:00 hrs. My quarters." Chakotay stood up and walked out without giving Kathryn a chance to answer. The door slid behind him.  
  
"Not like I have a choice." 


End file.
